This past month, as you already know, has been a rollercoaster ride for
me. But I’m grateful for that, because that means I’m still alive. In
bad times, unlike the theory “women are from venus” (it says that women
like to discuss their problems with other people), I tend to withdraw
myself from the crowd and stay in the dark. I may have cried once or
twice during my recent loss, but the main reason I backed off from
social life is usually to clear my head (by expressing what I think and
feel) and get over it. Sometimes it takes longer than average people,
but hey, I always manage to come out OK. The other reason why I prefer
to step away is that I don’t like to discuss, or to be asked about my
problems while I myself haven’t been able to figure them out. Just wait
for me at the other side of the tunnel, and when I finally come out
from the dark, I’m usually open to discuss it level-headedly.
It takes me about a week to mourn over the loss of my baby. And I’m
much better now. It sometimes pops into my head and brings tears to my
eyes, but I know and I’m aware that I still have life in front of me.
Good times will come, eventually.
My agenda has been full of social activities lately. I think it’s only
natural that after a moment of solitude, you crave for your friends. I
met up with Gita last Thursday at PIM 2 and we had a nice dinner and
talk at Sushi Tei. And then last Saturday Victor and I met up with
Putra & Rina at PIM where we had dinner at Niji (bad sushi, but
good company). This past Friday some of my choir friends, my sister,
and I had dinner at Sushi Groove, and just this evening Victor and I
had dinner with Bayu, Ade, and Gita at Kobeya, Pasaraya. Hmm… What’s
with all these Japanese restos? Anyway, I had such good times with my
friends that I’m feeling normal again.
I’ll be on your side forever more
That’s what friends are for…
Speaking of good times and bad times, I don’t know which category this
one should be in. The reverend who wed us in April 2003, Pdt. Willem A.
Titaheluw, passed away on Monday. He was only 45, but he had spent most
of his life serving our church and God. What a life. What an
accomplishment. May God rest his soul in peace. I’m sure now he sees
that all the good times and bad times in this world are a part of God’s
Great Plan. And I should, too.