Time is All We’ve Got

Pagi tadi sekitar pukul 3 dini hari di kediaman keluarga kecil Lumunon, terdengar bunyi getar HP. Victor mengangkatnya, dan beberapa menit kemudian setelah percakapan usai, he said, “Papa udah pergi.” Kalimat yang membingungkan buat orang yang masih setengah sadar, but since I know his vocabulary dan beberapa hari sebelumnya sudah ada pemberitahuan… well, I know what he meant.

His Dad passed away…
…after being hospitalized since Saturday
…in Amurang, his hometown in North Sulawesi
…alone, without his wife and kids
…and never got the chance to lay eyes on his only grand-daughter

Pusing… Dunia jungkir balik… Victor langsung telpon2an dan online untuk cari tiket ke Manado… Gue melirik Freya yang masih pulas di tempat tidurnya… I was supposed to be the one to spread the news to friends here… For the first time, my writing skill didn’t help. Seemed like all the words I chose were wrong or lack in meanings… Kok orang2 kalo ngirim SMS berita duka bahasanya bisa bagus begitu ya? Akhirnya yah, setelah berkali2 ngetik dan menghapus, SMS gue isinya merely facts… 140 characters are not enough to contain such a big emotion, methink.

Ketika nalar mulai jalan dan urusan mulai lancar… it occured to me that all we’ve got in this world is time. When your time is up in this world, well that’s it. There’s nothing you can do to change your life… You can no longer say sorry, thank you, I love you, or whatever it is you’ve been meaning to say but never leaves your mouth.

Victor’s time with his Dad was short… you can say that he grew up without his Dad.
My time with Victor’s Dad was even shorter… I only met him during the preparation of our wedding, and several times after that in family gatherings.
Freya’s time with his grandpa was non-existent, so to speak… he was already in Amurang when Freya was born and the two of them never met.

But to regret means you don’t appreciate the time you’ve got.
So what I’ve been meaning to say is: in spite of all those things, we have enough good memories of him that can last us a lifetime. Although his Dad wasn’t there when Victor was little, their relationship resumed as he grew up. Although I only met him several times in my life, I’m honored that he was there at our wedding. And although he never met Freya in person, he knew that he’s got a granddaughter before his time’s up.

For me, personally, I’d like to cherish our time together when he invited us to lunch about 2 years ago… He cooked us fish and seemed to be in element, something I rarely witnessed.  When we were about to go home, he brought us some of the fish and told us to share it with my parents. I think that was the nicest memory about him, my long-lost father-in-law…

Rest in peace, Dad. I hope you enjoyed your time here on earth.

22 thoughts on “Time is All We’ve Got

  1. 😦
    well, i've said it before, but i'll say it again..kami turut berduka cita dan menitikkan air mata.
    gue juga baru pernah ketemu sekali2nya itu pas lo mo nikah, but i remember him and thought he was a nice man.
    hope all the family members left behind can stay strong & also have nice memories about him like you do🙂

  2. Thanks for notifying us so early, tapi aku malah lupa sent condolence ke victornya himself, semoga dah disampaikan. Victor berapa lama di Amurang nya?

    Aku juga ketemu si oom ya pas kawinan kalian itu, the 1st and the last… ternyata sempet sakit dulu ya?

    Your words about time is sweet, and precise, and I agree with it.

  3. La.. Vic.. Aku turut berduka, guys.. Be strong.. I've met Vic's dad when u two got married.. A quiet and wise man he is..
    May He embrace him in His Smile..

    Amiin.

    ps. aku ga bisa bales sms, lagi cekak pulsa..😀

  4. Dear All,
    Thank you yaa… Nanti gue sampein ke Victor (kalo gak keburu baca sendiri di sini). Sekarang Victor masih di Amurang. Pemakamannya siang tadi di “desa” sebelah (lupa namanya, sounded like “Tenga”), di tanah tempat kedua orangtua Beliau dimakamkan. Victor pulang besok pagi dari Manado, sampai Jakarta sekitar jam 2-3 siang (kalo gak delayed).

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