It’s not like I don’t know how… it’s just that these past months make me feel like holding my breath, waiting for something big to happen.
It’s now 4 days away from C-Choir’s performance, Drama Musikal Gadis Korek Api. We’ve been working hard since early this year and working even harder these past few months. I’m out of words to describe what kind of hard work we did for this event, and most of all, for humanity (oh yes, it IS for humanity!). You should see it for yourself, you should be a part of us to even begin to know how it feels like fighting for a cause which many people are mistaken by thinking that we’re all about having fun. Well, we do have fun, but it’s only because we’re doing it with a passion.
Anyway, in the household department I struggled to finish the book I’ve been doing since I left my last job. I finally managed to finish it last week, edited my translation and sent it over to the publisher earlier this week. It took me so long to finish the book because I juggled it with many other tasks: C-Choir, taking care of Freya, and doing the household chores when the assistant went away for almost 2 months. I’ve been broke for months! :p From a woman who owned her own company, to an employee with a monthly wage, and on to become a housewife-slash-freelancer who has to wait for God-knows-how-long-I-can-finish-this-book sort of payment. It’s killing my shopaholic side, but hey, it’s not the worst thing in the world! Those children at SMP Gratis Ibu Pertiwi (and their parents) are surely in a worse condition than I am… and I’m glad that I can still do something to make their lives better! It’s a feeling I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world!
Back to that “learning to exhale” thing… we still have 2 rehearsals coming up. I’m not saying that my body doesn’t ache, it does… Not saying that I’m not tired, I am (I have to swallow a multivitamin pill every morning just to keep me on the surface). Not saying that I don’t have worries… I do, a lot! I’m Miss Panic, remember? But as the days grow nearer all I can remember is this old “saying” that “Everything is going to be OK”. Yes, I’m sure it is if we let it happen *wink-wink*
So, no time for negative thoughts. Take a deep breath, do your best, and don’t forget to let go so God can do the rest!