I don’t know how to feel when I see those pictures… of my old friends in the familiar habitat (except that it doesn’t feel familiar anymore for me at this point in my life). It was a life I thought I’d wanted all my life. Even when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would confidently say it. I pursued my dream life for four years and started living that life right after I graduated. It wasn’t an easy road to begin with and I sacrificed many things just to be able to walk down the road I chose. But yeah, people change. The world changes. After seven years and a lot of deliberation I decided to leave that life. I just couldn’t picture myself in that kind of life in the future… and couldn’t see the meaning of this life anymore. Everything I fought for didn’t matter anymore. Yes, I lost my passion. I just couldn’t get myself to enjoy doing what I was good at (still am, but well, you know what I mean). Maybe too much of a good thing could do you harm too!
So I retreated from that life. Slowly, gradually, then completely. I thought it was for the best before the dream became a total nightmare. Then I began to change lanes… and what do you know? It felt great! Apparently I needed that change of scenery and I feel a lot happier now. I no longer feel that I’d been wasting seven years of my life for nothing. It is necessary for me to walk down that path to get me where I am now. “No regrets, only lessons learned,” they say… and I can’t agree more.
So, what do I feel when I see the pictures of my old friends in the habitat that I used to be in? I decide to feel grateful.