Gara-Gara Ini…

Di Plurk gue ada seseorang menulis ini:
“X melayat tetangga. meninggal krn kanker. umur di bawah 30 th. meninggalkan suami dan 2 org anak.”

Lalu ada yang bales:
“Y says gitu toh ceritanya? Hmmm… saatnya berhenti merokok?”

Si empunya thread kembali menulis:
“X says koreksi: umur 34 th. dan kanker usus. ga ada ubungannya ama rokok. jd bukan saatnya brenti merokok.”

Seseorang menimpali:
“Z says hahahahaha…dudulll”

Dan cuma gara2 itu I feel unhappy. Yeah, I know… It has nothing to do with me, directly. But the fact that they make a joke out of it, of a sickness that serious, a sickness that I personally have been through, makes me sick.

Bukannya gue gak suka bercanda… suka dan sering banget. Bahkan setelah bernyanyi, mungkin bunyi2an kedua yang paling sering terdengar dari mulut gue adalah ketawa. But I guess I just can’t find this one funny… at all.

Sensitif? Mungkin. Mungkin loe juga akan begitu kalau pernah begitu dekat dengan kenyataan yang gue alami. Atau mungkin anggota keluarga loe mengalami itu. You’ll know it’s something serious. Walaupun mungkin yang gue alami gak sampe mesti botak karena chemotherapy, belom stadium akhir kayak Randy Pausch yang di Oprah itu, but still… when you know that you have it, your life changes.

Pertama kali gue berada begitu dekat dengan penyakit ini adalah ketika teman sekelas gue, waktu kelas 5 SD, dinyatakan mengidap Leukemia–blood cancer. Sering dia gak masuk sekolah… setelah lama gak masuk tiba2 rambutnya yang tadinya panjang udah gak ada, digantikan topi… Sampai saat kami kelas 6, pada suatu hari kami diberitahu bahwa teman kami sudah berpulang. Kami melayat bersama2. Gue gak terlalu dekat, but still, I cried. Maybe because I felt it so unfair that someone that young had to go through such sickness and had to leave this world.

Selama bertahun2 gue akhirnya melupakan kejadian itu sampai akhirnya giliran gue tiba. Sesuatu yang rasanya “gak mungkin terjadi dalam hidup gue” toh ternyata terjadi. I’m not invincible like we feel most of the time… bahwa kalau hidup kita sesuai dengan timeline-nya: sekolah, lulus, kerja, menikah, punya anak, you think you’d live forever (get to see your grandchildren and die at least when you’re 80). OK, it’s ONLY thyroid cancer. OK, it’s TAKEN OUT. OK, it’s the less lethal type of the most dangerous type… but it doesn’t change the way it affects my life! I’m so afraid that one day I wake up somewhere I don’t know (heaven or hell) and not be able to touch my daughter anymore. I’m so afraid she will miss me (and wonders where I am and why I left her without saying goodbye) and I can’t even write her my explanation.

I’m not sure they know how I–and many people who have this illness–feel. Of course they don’t know. How could they know?

So I will let them write what they like. It’s a tough world and I just have to deal with it. Apart from that, I just wish people would pay more attention to this silent killer: quit smoking, eat and live healthily! Please! You don’t want to feel like I do, believe me.

6 thoughts on “Gara-Gara Ini…

  1. hmm..first of all, that situation on your entry up there was not the right time for any joke..second of all, cancer is NOT even a joke.
    orang2 aneh yg di atas itu..

    *sigh* i guess ppl really won't realize it till it's happening to themselves/someone close to them, which is sad.

    (this entry has been edited, berhubung gue baru nyadar si X ngomong apa pas kedua kalinya..)

  2. yup…lala ngingetin g sm temen SMP g yg jg kena meninggal krn kanker rahim…seorang sahabat yg kmn2 selalu bareng..dan ya…gue gak tau gmn rasanya…and nooo..please..keep praying supaya tak ada kejadian yg sama terjadi ke gue, keluarga gue ataupun org2 yg g kenal…AMIN!

  3. yeah .. the serious desease scare me … My both parents died because of cancer …nyokap kanker tulang, bokap kanker hati … dan bude juga ada yg kena kanker payudara … banyak2 berdoa semoga tidak menurun padaku … yah semoga orang2 itu diberi pencerahan utk ngga ngasal ngomong atas penderitaan orang lain …

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